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Have you ever seen a turkey in the wild? They are often depicted as silly, inelegant creatures, but the ones I know are monstrously large, slim and trim muscular, highly evolved dinos that look like the only reason they aren't murdering you is condescension—and they might change their minds at any moment.

Now imagine a flock of 40 or so of these things stalking through the neighborhood like they own it, which they probably think they do. I mean, *I* won't be the one to tell them otherwise.